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Vampire Jokes
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Count Drakula 2
Q: What flavour ice cream is Dracula's favourite ?
A: Veinilla !
Q: Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin ?
A: It wanted to play squash !
Q: Why do vampires like school dinners?
A: Because they know they won't get stake !
Q: How do you join the Dracula fan club ?
A: Send your name, address and blood group !
Q: What's a vampire's favourite animal ?
A: A giraffe !
Q: Why was the young vampire a failure ? A: He fainted at the sight of blood !
Q: What happened to the vampire who swallowed sheep ?
A: He felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad !
Q: What's Dracula's favourite coffee ?
A: Decoffinated !
Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot ?
A: A bite in shining armour !
Q: What does a vampire bath in ?
A: A bat tub !
Q: What did the vampire say after he had been to the dentist ?
A: Fangs very much !
Q: What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold ?
A: Coffin medicine !
Q: What does the postman deliver to vampires ?
A: Fang mail !
Q: What's Dracula's favourite soup ?
A: Scream of tomato !
Q: What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower ?
A: A bat mat !
Q: What's a vampire's favourite dance ?
A: The vaults !
Q: What do romantic vampires do ?
A: Neck !
Q: Why do vampires hate arguments ?
A: Because they make themselves cross !
Q: What does a vampire say to the mirror ?
A: Terror, terror on the wall... !
Q: What is a vampire's favourite film character ?
A: Batman !
Q: Why do people hate being bitten by vampires ?
A: Because it's a drain in the neck !
Q: If a snowman marries a vampire, what will they name their first child?
A: Frostbite
Q: Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
A: He has a bat temper.
Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
A: He had a fang-ache.
Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
A: They all come out at night.
Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
A: To stop his coffin.
Q: Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
A: Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.
Q: What happened to the mad vampire ?
A: He went a little batty !
Q: What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day ?
A: A coffin break !
Q: How does a vampire like his food served ?
A: In bite sized pieces !
Q: Where do vampires go on holiday ?
A: The Isle of Fright !
Q: Why did the vampire take up acting ?
A: It was in his blood !
Q: Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team ?
A: The ghoulscorer !
Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail ?
A: I don't know but it would slow him down !
Q: Which vampire ate the three bears porridge ?
A: Ghouldilocks !
Q: Why did the vampire go to hospital ?
A: He wanted his ghoulstones removed !
Q: What's a vampire's favourite drink ?
A: A bloody mary !
Q: What's a vampire's favourite dance ?
A: The fangdango !
Q: Which vampire tried to eat James Bond ?
A: Ghouldfinger !
Q: What do vampires think of blood transfusions ?
A: Newfangled rubbish !
Q: Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food ?
A: He wanted something to get his teeth into !
Q: What happened at the vampires race ?
A: It finished neck and neck !
Q: Where did vampires go to first in America ? A: New Fangland !
Q: What happened at the vampires reunion ?
A: All the blood relations went !
Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula and Al Capone ?
A: A fangster !
Q: What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve ?
A: "Auld Fang Syne" !
Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist ?
A: He had fang decay !
Q: What did the vampire say to the wolfman ?
A: You look like your going to the dogs !
Q: What is the American national day for vampires ?
A: Fangsgiving day !
Q: If you want to know more about Dracula what do you have to do ?
A: Join his fang club !
Q: Why are vampire families so close ?
A: Because blood is thicker than water !
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